One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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