don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
