Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize