I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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