loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
