You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
birth control should be required to get into college
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
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No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
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Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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