i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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