I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So vagazzling was a success
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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