I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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