I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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