Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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