I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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