Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.