Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space