I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
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I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
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You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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