If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes