Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
