playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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