I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
