I'm jealous of your bromance
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am midnight drunk by noon
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
