well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
