OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
