It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
