dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
