She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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