Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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