I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize