oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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