Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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