im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
