Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
