I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
