I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize