This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize