id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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