If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
