What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
