WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
