you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize