At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
