Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
