I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize