i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
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I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
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And then my night got REAL pukey
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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