This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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