dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
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I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
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VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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