I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
