I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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