he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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