They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
