Just fell off a train. Bad.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize
