I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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