Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
