His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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