in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
