is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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