Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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