i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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