he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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