So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
