Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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