Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
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She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
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I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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