So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
